Weekly Update June 5 - 11

The Week in Review 

One week into residency and already a day late getting this written -- at least you guys know what to expect.

Before I delve into talking about my week this week, I wanted to take a second to talk about the incredible tragedy that happened in Orlando a few days ago. I've spent a long time trying to get together the words to talk about how I feel -- but I just don't have them. There are no words for the incredible loss each and every one of those 50 families must be feeling right now. There are no words for the loss of a friend, child, spouse.

I cannot find the words because they do not exist.

I cannot find the words to say to my friends and loved ones who are members of the LGBTQ community. There are no words for the fear that someone could take your life out of hatred. There are no words to realize that for every step forward there are still steps back.

My heart breaks for the families and friends who will never get to hold the person they love again. I have watched people die in the ER from gunshot wounds. I have seen young people bleed out as doctors and nurses fought to save their lives. I have seen families fall to the floor as the news is given to them of life cut short too soon.

I have no words for the loss any family must feel for a loved one lost to violence.

I do not have words to say to those families. And one day, it may be me, in the ER giving the news to a family who will bury a loved one lost to violence -- I hope on that day I do have something to say. But even more than that -- I hope I never have to have something to say -- I hope the violence stops.

~~

This was my first week as an official resident physician. I have a long white coat and a badge hanging next to my door. But none of it feels real. I know that I am less than 7 days away from my first shift and that thought terrifies me.

I've met so many new people in the last week that it will take me weeks to sort out all the names and faces. For someone who's not particularly good at meeting new people and not adept at social interaction, the endless social events and small talk has been tiring! I'm trying really hard to be more outgoing and social, but it's always a relief at the end of the day to come home and be relieved of the need to be extraverted for hours!! I am much better at talking to people in professional situations -- social situations are much harder for me. Is there a secret I could learn? No. Just practice. Fine.

We're two weeks away from Sweetheart being here for his away rotation! I am already planning a couple of fun things for us to do on days off, but mostly we're looking at just being excited to share five minutes together at the end of the day when we're both exhausted from work. Being a two doctor household means that "couple time" has a whole different meaning!! Haha.

The Week in Photos 

flower delivery from Sweetheart / long white coat / brunch with new lady interns / hair bow / reading about vascular surgery 

Reading 

Mostly I'm reading about ATLS right now.... but I'm still reading a couple pages of Carry On by Rainbow Rowell every night. It's an excellent fun book very reminiscent of Harry Potter. 

Listening 

I've been listening to a lot of spotify playlists that are for "focus". I haven't identified anything particular that I can recommend because mostly it's just playing in the background! 

3 Things

• Programable coffee makers are a MUST for anyone starting residency. Nothing like hearing the coffee brewing when you're waking up. 
• There was an incredible rain and lightning storm for the last couple hours, but now it's clearing and the clouds are perfect purple and pink. I tried to take a picture... but the colors just aren't turning out right, so you'll have to take my word for it. 
• I found kale pesto hummus at whole foods yesterday and have eaten almost the whole container in 24 hours... this is dangerous

Loving from Around the Internet 

Since I've been so obsessed with make ahead meals the last two weeks, I've been thinking about trying this Blueberry Coconut Baked Oatmeal for a quick breakfast! Anyone tried baked oatmeal before? 

Weekly Update May 15 - 21

The Week in Review

As part of this week, I had the opportunity to do a couple of poster presentations for research I had worked on as a third and fourth year medical student. I was able to see several of the surgeons that I had worked with over the last couple of years, all of whom very gleefully walked up and addressed me as "Doctor".

My father also happens to be a doctor -- a PhD doctor -- but still hearing the word Dr in front of my last name makes me turn around and look for him instead of assuming that someone is addressing me. How long in my life will it be before I'll stop looking for my dad when I hear that?

Strangely, this was also the last week I will spend at home for a very long time. I'm waiting in the airport right now to get on a plane to go to London with my brother (a trip we've been wanting to make for about 5 years or so...). But immediately on flying back from the UK, I'll be heading directly to ResidencyCity to start my life there. It was incredibly hard to say goodbye to all the people and places that I love in my Hometown.

The hardest part of it was saying goodbye to Sweetheart who will be staying behind to finish his last year in medical school. He'll be in ResidencyCity for part of the next year to visit, do an away rotation, etc -- but it's going to be very hard to be apart for a whole year.

In some ways, I think it won't be too much different than if we were living in the same place when I will be a surgery intern -- we may actually get to see each other more living in different cities than we would in the same city with me at work all the time. Haha. I'm glad to live in an era where Skype and airplanes exist and we'll be able to get through this year quickly.

The Week in Photos

I have photos for this week I just can't figure out how to get them into this post on mobile right now... Grr... I will continue to work on it.

EDIT: I got it

Bags packed / date night / brunch / everything I own in boxes / goodbye brunch with the girls / London packing
  Reading
In honor of us heading to London for the week, I quickly read Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island. For anyone who is a fan of books about travel, Bill Bryson's books are witty, quick, and make you feel like you've actually been along for the ride.

Listening
Bad Blood by Bastille has been my album of the week for it's lead singer's unique voice.

3 Things

• Having been a doctor for a whole week now, it still does not feel any more real than it did last week, I'm thinking somewhere around the middle of the week that first week of residency it might START to sink in. 

•  Had an interesting conversation with a surgeon I worked with as a third year about the importance of fear in making us good doctors. I'm mostly mentioning it here as a note to self to write more about this in some form at a later date. 

•  I should have some internet access while out of the country, so I'm hoping for Instagram pictures (@ladykay4477) and a weekly update next week, but forgive me if it's delayed a day or two until I'm back in the US.

Loving from Around the Internet

 I recently discovered that people have made playlists themed to each of the Harry Potter houses. I've listened to about a thousand of these while I was working on packing. Many of them really do capture the feeling of Hogwarts houses. It was excellent.

Weekly Update May 8 - 14

The Week in Review 

MD. None of it's real to me yet.

Have any of you had the experience of running on a treadmill very fast for a very long distance? When you step off, standing still seems strange, as though the world is still moving underneath your feet.

The last four years have been a very long treadmill run, moving my feet as fast as I can to keep from falling off. Suddenly, the constant stream of days has stopped and I'm taking a step forward on solid ground. It feels... strange.

The last four years would not have happened if not for a great many wonderful people in my life: my parents, my brother, my amazing fiance, my friends, the list goes on. Someone told me very early on in my medical career that it takes a village to make a doctor. It was certainly true for this doctor. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my village.

The next few weeks are going to move very quickly. By the time I write to you next week, I'll be about to leave the country to travel with my brother for a quick last hoorah before I actually use those two letters that are just hanging out behind my name now.

I just have one question: when does it start feeling real? Does it ever?

The Week in Photos

graduation / friend's cake / officially MD snaps / all the graduation pictures / amazing cheesecake / date night

Listening
In the process of moving you find a great many things, including the fact that I had scribbled the name of Gregory Alan Isakov on a piece of paper and shoved in into a desk drawer years ago. Rediscovering his name lead to quite the binge session over the last few days.

Reading 
Moving is an incredibly labor intensive process (can you believe you have to individually wrap all your fragile things? - aye). So I'm still reading Mount Misery. And by still reading, I think that means I've read all of 10 pages since last week.

3 Things

• Nothing will make you want to throw away everything you own and start over like trying to pack everything you own into boxes. 
• We're down to quite the skeleton crew in the kitchen, leading to a lot of simple trader joe's meals. 
• Did I mention someone made me a doctor on Friday? 

Loving from Around the Internet 

I've read this article before. It's been sent to me a dozen times by different friends or family members outside the medical profession, usually with the email subject line "is it really like this?". Well, I guess I'll be answering that question really soon. 

Weekly Update April 17 - 23

The Week in Review 

Welcome to a weekly update one day late. I hope to forgive my tardiness on this update but hopefully when you read this you'll understand the delay. I spent the whole first part of the week in the city I will be moving to for residency looking for an apartment. I have excellent news: I HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE NEXT YEAR! :)

After returning from that trip, I was home for all of 12 hours before we turned around and left on another trip, this time a road trip to see Sweetheart's sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. It was such a great trip, but after all that driving I am quite a bit exhausted and ready to not get in a car ever again.

After all that traveling I am glad that I think I should be able to be around home for the next three weeks before I will have to travel again. I'm all travelled out after the last six months!! I have one more big trip left and then NO MORE TRAVELING for all of residency (except maybe for our honeymoon... haha).

I love going places, I like being there, but the getting there part is exhausting.

This week is going to equally busy and full of appointments and craziness.

The Week in Photos 

Cute baby adores the baby blanket I made! / Studying for ACLS / Running in Places / AMAZING record store in new residency city / Zoo in residency city!

Reading 

This week I finished The Tiger's Wife, which was entirely unexpected and quite unique!

Listening 

We rediscovered Flogging Molly on this road trip and I am completely in love with this cute duet.

3 Things

• I am incredibly excited to eat at home all week. Most people love eating out, but I love nothing more than being able to make a meal in my own kitchen 
• I have to start looking at movers. I wish I could just get rid of everything I own and buy all new stuff. That would be easier. 
• I may become a bike commuter. I never thought I would be in a place where I could bike to work. 

Loving from Around the Internet 
I've been loving this great pinterest board for adorable boxes to ask your special ladies to be your bridesmaids!