Intern Year Survival Guide: Staying Active

If you're a resident in nearly any specialty, you've probably sat through at least one of those lectures where they told you how important it was to take care of your own health while working 80 hour weeks and learning all the medicine you didn't learn in med school. They say this like it's SO easy, but no one tells you how to do it.

You work 14 hours and then you're expected to come home, do the adult things you have to do like eat dinner, do dishes, and get ready for the next day AND read about medicine AND spend time with loved ones AND somehow fit exercise in that mix?

Seriously?

As people in medicine we're often really busy taking care of everyone else and the thing that always falls off the bottom of our to-do list is taking care of ourselves. We're not a priority. It's hard to put something like exercise high enough up on your list, especially when you're already tired.

Now, this isn't one of those things where I tell you "no matter how busy you are, there's always time to exercise". I think that statement is crap. That statement is for people who work normal 40 hour work weeks. Trust me, sometimes I work so many hours in one day that by the time I get home the only thing I have time to do is eat and fall right into bed.

Instead of giving you platitudes, I'm here to tell you the truth about taking care of yourself in the craziness of PGY1 year. The reality is that intern year you probably won't have the free time to train for a marathon, you won't be able to achieve your goal of going from benching the bar to bench pressing 300 pounds. The truth is that setting a solid goal to work out every day for an hour or two is probably not going to be doable.

The reality of intern year is that no matter how well intentioned you are at the beginning of the week you'll get stuck at work for an extra two hours you weren't counting on dealing with an urgent patient issue or you'll end up getting home too exhausted to even think about going out out for a run or hitting the gym.

But, there is time to do enough to keep yourself healthy! And instead of giving you encouraging motivational statements overlaid on pictures of girls with perfect makeup wearing running clothes, I'm going to give you real advice about how to fit a couple workouts a week into your 80-100 hour work weeks.

1. Set a reasonable goal. I aim to workout for half an hour three times a week. Even when I get home late I can tell myself that it's only 30 minutes. I can take 30 minutes before I shower and go to bed. I can make that happen. If you tell yourself that your workout would take two hours, when you're tired there's no way you'll put off sleep for two hours to workout. 
2. If you're busy, add activity during your normal daily flow to help you stay active! I bike to work. It's not far, but it adds a couple extra minutes of activity to my normal day. If you can bike or walk to work. this can easily become a whole or part of your workout for the day.
3. Add fun activities on your day off that are active. Sometimes it can be as simple as going for a walk with your dog or heading to the park or downtown with your significant other for a walk! These sorts of things make it easy to get your activity in and have fun on your day off instead of staying inside watching Netflix. Trust me, the lure of the couch is real on your days off, but you'll feel better if you get out and do something when you're not at the hospital. 
4. Use a tracker -- I have an apple watch and it's been great for reminding me of the days when I've been stuck in front of a computer all day working on patient issues. I feel like having something reminding you to get your steps in can be a good way to make me take the stairs when I'm walking between the floor and the OR. 
5. Be kind to yourself. When you've had a really hard day, feel free to go home and skip your planned workout when you really just can't face it and need some downtime instead. Things can wait. 
6. 10 minutes is better than 0. Even if all I do is get on my treadmill and run one mile, that's one extra mile that I hadn't done before. 
7. Cut out travel time. I've always found that the thing that annoyed me about working out was the fact that sometimes I had to spend a bunch of time going to and from the gym to workout. It felt like wasted time. I've found it's much easier to convince myself to workout if all I have to do is start. I have a treadmill or run outside to get my runs in. It saves me the 10 minutes it would take to get in my car and drive to the gym. Bodyweight exercises or yoga can easily be performed in your bedroom! The 20 minutes it would take me in transit can be 20 minutes spent actually on the workout. Every second counts when you only have a couple hours at home. 
8. Reward yourself. Often if I get to the end of the week and I made my workout goals for the week, on my day off I'll do something fun for me as a little treat, even if it's just walking to get a starbucks or picking up a pair of $2 fun socks when I was at target because I did something good for me. :) 
9. Find the time that works for you. I get up at (or before) 4am most days to get to the hospital on time. There is no way I'm going to workout in the morning. Nope. So my goal is often to workout after I get home at the end of the day. I often try to do it right when I get home before I can get comfy on my couch and end up skipping. 
10. Use it as "you" time. Seriously. I use workout time as time that I am NOT doing medicine. It's the time I watch trashy Netflix and no one can make me feel guilty about it. Seriously. I watch the stupidest television I can find while I workout and never have to feel guilty about it being a waste of time. 

I can't tell you the number of times I think about how I'd love to workout more, how I miss the days when I could workout 5-6 times a week for an hour. I miss those days. But the truth is, doing that while a resident (especially a surgical resident) is just not going to happen!! Sometimes sleep or studying or adulting need to take priority in your time off. 

So if there's any platitude included in this it's: do what you can and call it a win. :)

Intern Year Survival Guide: Meal Prep

Intern Year Survival Guide: Meal Prep 

Despite the moments in the early seasons of Grey's Anatomy when the interns seem to have time to throw crazy parties and go on ridiculous dates outside the hospital, the truth about intern year as a surgical resident is that there are days when the only thing there's time for is work and sleep.

On those days, there's nothing that can replace the joy of coming home to a homemade meal instead of microwaving a burrito.

I am a big fan of the cook once and eat for days strategy. If you're going to bother to pull out all the pots and pans, why not make 12 meals instead of just 1?

I've found that there are a lot of secrets to a good meal prep session that will get you through a whole week (or two) of crazy shifts. The good news is that with some practice and only a couple hours you can put together enough food to last you days and days.

WHAT YOU NEED 
The key to any good meal prep is having lots of containers that fit single serving sizes. If you have to take the meals to work, the containers should be well-sealed.
I always use glass containers because I think that plastic often stains or collects weird smells. ALSO if you use glass containers, when I come home and want to just pop a dinner in the oven, I don't have to get anymore dishes dirty, I just throw the whole thing in the oven and then eat right out of it. Fewer things to clean = more time to sleep!

My meal prep requirements for packing
>> Lots of mason jars (I like the wide mouthed pint jars for salads and fruit and I use the mini sized mason jars for dressing, hummus, granola, etc).
>> Good quality single, serving size glass containers -- I'm using pyrex snapware containers at home. No spillage, easy to clean, highly recommend.
>> Ziplock bags for single serving snacks
>> Additional tupperware for meals prepped in large quantities that can be eaten at home.

THE MENU
The first step to any successful meal prep is the menu.
This may take some trial and error on your part to find recipes that easily can be made in advance. You'll find things you like that keep well and are easy to portion.
Some of my favorites
>> Quinoa salads -- excellent lunches, just toss quinoa with your favorite veggies and protein (my favorites: chickpeas, tofu, lentils) and make a bunch of dressing (or use store bought dressing) to package on the side
>> Pasta dishes -- lasagnas can be made in rolls, packaged individually and baked day of eating, meat or veggie pasta sauces can be made and pasta boiled separately and reheated day of
>> Tacos -- make all the taco filling and just reheat and toss in some taco shells the day of dinner
>> Premade salads -- just put the dressing on the side
>>Things cooked in sauce -- this is a really broad category I use for when you cook any protein in a sauce that you can reheat and toss on veggies or rice (like chickpeas cooked in curry sauce you toss on reheated rice!)

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START
If you have no idea where to start on meal prep, try just making these things
> 1 or 2 grains premade (precook your quinoa and boil some pasta ahead of time)
> A big batch of sauteed or roasted vegetables (as a side for your main dish or tossed into a salad). Just pick whatever you like or is in season!
> Prepped proteins (bake your tofu, roast your chickpeas, boil your black beans, bake your chicken, etc).
> Chopped up fruit (perfect side dish for breakfasts)
> Fresh veggies cut in bags for snacks
> Small packages of nuts/dried fruit for snacks (alternately use granola bars, or your other favorite high protein snack)

WAIT... BUT HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE 
Generally, I spend about 2-3 hours on a day off doing meal prep to get meals for a whole week (some of this time includes cleaning and baking so it's more downtime). I also use my meal prep time as my time to watch Netflix, make phone calls, or listen to podcasts. It's a relaxing part of my weekend (but I like cooking...).
I've been doing meal prep for some time so I have it down to a science, don't be surprised if the first time you do it takes you a little longer. You'll learn how to do multitasking that will make it end up going much quicker!

HOW DO I MAKE IT GO FASTER
Easy, do things that need to take the longest time first!
I toss the rice into my rice cooker first thing so it's cooking while I do other things. I work on the dish that needs an hour to bake first so it goes right in the oven.
If you're pressed for time, use short cuts!! If I know I'm really going to only have an hour or two to do meal prep, I buy precooked frozen quinoa from trader joes or will spend a little extra money to buy presliced veggies to save myself a couple extra minutes.

BUT... IS IT EXPENSIVE?
Up front, your grocery bill may seem a bit steep... but remember that if you don't end up picking up take out you save a bunch of money!

OKAY, I'M ON BOARD, BUT I NEED AN EXAMPLE 
Right now, since Sweetheart isn't here, I'm just cooking for one person. That means I only cook about 3 meals a week and eat those three things for lunch and dinner and then have breakfasts.
Lunch and dinner (2 meals per day x 7 days a week = 14 meals = 3 meals with 4-5 servings per meal).
Simple?

So here's what I made last week as an example:
Disclaimer before I start -- I don't follow any specific diet plan/count calories/etc -- I just eat what makes me feel good. I use a lot of plant based protein sources with very little meat/dairy. It's just what I find to be easy, cheap, and stores well!

Breakfasts:
1) Homemade chia pudding with cooked fruit
--For the chia pudding: Mix 1 can of coconut milk with chia seeds and chill until thickened (total prep time 2 minutes)
--For the cooked fruit: open bags of frozen raspberries, strawberries, and cherries and cook with a small amount of water until a thin, jam type substance forms (total prep time 2 minutes, total cook time 30 minutes)
2) Coconut milk yogurts with fruit and granola: Package individual servings of granola and fruit (total prep time 5-10 minutes depending on whether or not your fruit requires cutting)

Lunches:
1) Quinoa salad: Cook quinoa, mix with a can of precooked lentils, chop scallions, zucchini, herbs, and dried cherries. Mix up homemade balsamic dressing. (total prep time 15 minutes, total cook time 45 minutes) -- start your quinoa at the beginning of the cook prep
2)  Leftovers from dinners

Dinners:
1) Raw veggie panzanella: Slice up bread into cubes, toast with olive oil and salt, dice up fresh cherry tomatoes, corn, and cucumber. Roast chickpeas. (total prep time 20 minutes, total cook time 30 minutes). Add fresh mozarella balls if desired. Use the same dressing you used for the quinoa salad.
2) Veggie and black bean enchiladas: Saute up remainder of random vegetables in your fridge (zucchini, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, etc)  and mix with canned black beans. Layer between corn tortillas with enchillada sauce and bake in large pan or layer or in individual dishes. (total prep time 30 minutes, total cook time 1 hour) -- make this first so it can bake while you make the rest of the meals

Snacks:
1) Packs of nuts
2) Bags with fresh snap peas

With some quick planning, you see how all this could be mixed up in a couple hours and baked off while packaging other meals or doing dishes.

WHAT ARE THE SECRETS?
1) Having a good plan before you go shopping -- figure out what you might need so you don't have to make 18 trips to the store
2) Reuse -- once I know I'm going to make a quick dressing for one meal, I'll plan two meals that can use the same salad dressing
3) Plan a couple of meals that can use precooked ingredients for speed (like yogurts for lunch or using a premade pasta sauce to go with the roasted veggie pasta).
4) Start the things that take the longest first -- the worst thing is to get to the end of your meal prep and realize that you haven't put in the dish that takes an hour to cook. Do those things first.
5) Practice. The first time you do a meal prep it will take you a little longer than you'd like. Don't give up, you'll get faster and faster every time you do this and the delayed gratification of having a meal to come home to every night is amazing!!

MASTER LEVEL PREP
If I have some extra time here are some fun things I like to add to my meal prep
1) Homemade iced tea packaged in single serving bottles to make my lunch more exciting
2) Something special for breakfast -- muffins/breakfast burritos/etc
3) Prep a special dessert for yourself -- add a batch of brownies or cookies to your prep
4) Do a "half-prep" -- prep all the ingredients for a sandwich and spend the additional 2 minutes in the morning to put it all together before you go to work. This can make your meals a little more exciting if you can't make something because it would get ruined by siting premade for 5-7 days.

Despite the work of doing all the cooking up front, I save so much time the rest of the week by just being able to grab my meals and walk out the door every day or toss something in the oven to reheat while I workout or take a quick shower after I get ready.

This meal prep can easily be adapted for more than one person. It might involve some extra time to make more than one meal or the same amount of time if you just make your meals in a larger batch. OR you can always include the other people eating your meals in the prep and make it go faster!!

Intern year is ridiculously hard, make it easier on yourself by having ready made meals for those nights when you're too tired to cook!

Happy eating!

Weekly Update June 12 - 18

The Week in Review 

Hard to believe that by this time tomorrow I will have already been at work for 10 hours and will still have about 20 hours left in the shift. How in the world am I going to get through that first day?? I have every intention to keep some notes (if I have a chance to breathe in  between the bouts of craziness) to write up something about my first ever day as a real doctor. I think that would be something that would be interesting to read at the end of this.

As part of our orientation to residency, we got the chance to watch the graduation of the finishing chiefs. It was strange to watch someone at the end when I'm still here at the beginning. It's easy to forget about the finish line when you're still trying to lace up your shoes at the start of the marathon.

There are a lot of miles ahead of me -- good ones and bad ones. I don't know what all those miles will hold or how things will be different this time next year or this time in seven years. But I'm excited for the race ahead.

The Week in Snapshots 

meal prep / last day of slow mornings / sunset on chief's dinner / the last time I look fancy for a bit / the ducks of summer

Reading
I realized that Carry On is the pseudo-sequel to Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl, and so I put Carry On aside for a second to read them in the right order. I'm kind of neurotic about reading books that are connected in ORDER

Listening 
So I came across this cute little podcast called Sawbones that every week talks about a medical history. It's really funny and not hyper-technical so they explain all the medical words. But I definitely think some of the history included in it about how we used to treat diseases is really cool!

3 Things

• I went to target like three times this week. I kept forgetting one or another thing I needed -- but now I have lots of snacks all stocked in my locker. 
• I have new supposedly long lasting foundation/eyeliner/etc. We'll see if it lasts through an all night call shift. 
• My new long white coats don't have inside pockets. That's unacceptable. I'm going to have to sow some pockets in there. 

Loving from Around the Internet 

MASON JAR SALADS -- I made a whole bunch of these to get me through the weeks lunches at work. Hopefully they're yummy because if they suck I have like 5 of them to eat.... 

Weekly Update June 5 - 11

The Week in Review 

One week into residency and already a day late getting this written -- at least you guys know what to expect.

Before I delve into talking about my week this week, I wanted to take a second to talk about the incredible tragedy that happened in Orlando a few days ago. I've spent a long time trying to get together the words to talk about how I feel -- but I just don't have them. There are no words for the incredible loss each and every one of those 50 families must be feeling right now. There are no words for the loss of a friend, child, spouse.

I cannot find the words because they do not exist.

I cannot find the words to say to my friends and loved ones who are members of the LGBTQ community. There are no words for the fear that someone could take your life out of hatred. There are no words to realize that for every step forward there are still steps back.

My heart breaks for the families and friends who will never get to hold the person they love again. I have watched people die in the ER from gunshot wounds. I have seen young people bleed out as doctors and nurses fought to save their lives. I have seen families fall to the floor as the news is given to them of life cut short too soon.

I have no words for the loss any family must feel for a loved one lost to violence.

I do not have words to say to those families. And one day, it may be me, in the ER giving the news to a family who will bury a loved one lost to violence -- I hope on that day I do have something to say. But even more than that -- I hope I never have to have something to say -- I hope the violence stops.

~~

This was my first week as an official resident physician. I have a long white coat and a badge hanging next to my door. But none of it feels real. I know that I am less than 7 days away from my first shift and that thought terrifies me.

I've met so many new people in the last week that it will take me weeks to sort out all the names and faces. For someone who's not particularly good at meeting new people and not adept at social interaction, the endless social events and small talk has been tiring! I'm trying really hard to be more outgoing and social, but it's always a relief at the end of the day to come home and be relieved of the need to be extraverted for hours!! I am much better at talking to people in professional situations -- social situations are much harder for me. Is there a secret I could learn? No. Just practice. Fine.

We're two weeks away from Sweetheart being here for his away rotation! I am already planning a couple of fun things for us to do on days off, but mostly we're looking at just being excited to share five minutes together at the end of the day when we're both exhausted from work. Being a two doctor household means that "couple time" has a whole different meaning!! Haha.

The Week in Photos 

flower delivery from Sweetheart / long white coat / brunch with new lady interns / hair bow / reading about vascular surgery 

Reading 

Mostly I'm reading about ATLS right now.... but I'm still reading a couple pages of Carry On by Rainbow Rowell every night. It's an excellent fun book very reminiscent of Harry Potter. 

Listening 

I've been listening to a lot of spotify playlists that are for "focus". I haven't identified anything particular that I can recommend because mostly it's just playing in the background! 

3 Things

• Programable coffee makers are a MUST for anyone starting residency. Nothing like hearing the coffee brewing when you're waking up. 
• There was an incredible rain and lightning storm for the last couple hours, but now it's clearing and the clouds are perfect purple and pink. I tried to take a picture... but the colors just aren't turning out right, so you'll have to take my word for it. 
• I found kale pesto hummus at whole foods yesterday and have eaten almost the whole container in 24 hours... this is dangerous

Loving from Around the Internet 

Since I've been so obsessed with make ahead meals the last two weeks, I've been thinking about trying this Blueberry Coconut Baked Oatmeal for a quick breakfast! Anyone tried baked oatmeal before? 

Weekly Update May 29 - June 4

The Week in Review 

Where do we start? This time last week I was in Europe and now I am sitting in a completely unpacked apartment in new ResidencyCity. It's hard to wrap my mind around all the things that happened in the last week from a trans-atlantic flight, to a two day car trip, to unpacking a thousand boxes and moving dozens of pieces of furniture.

And now, it's just me. Just me alone in this new and strange city with only two days left until I'm supposed to go be a resident. I thought that orientation was supposed to start tomorrow, but luckily realized that I had misread the calendar and I actually start on Wednesday, so I had a couple of extra days to get used to being here.

Sweetheart and I have managed the first couple weeks of this new long distance thing, but it's hard when I wake up in the morning and want to roll over to see him or fall asleep at night and miss snuggling. Skype and cell phones can replace a lot, but they can't replace just being in the same room as someone. I used to be really good at living alone, the silence didn't bother me, but I've become much less used to the quiet and the loneliness.

The new apartment is absolutely beautiful and came together so well. I'm so happy to feel like it's an excellent, comfortable, and functional space that will serve me well in the next year. It would be nice if it would stay as clean and organized as it is now through all of intern year -- but I know that will never happen! Ha.

I'm planning on doing a video or photo walk through when I get the chance -- but since everything really JUST finished getting unpacked it might take me a day or two. But I'd love to show you all around while it's still beautiful!

The Week in Photos

cute little duck not too far from the hospital / brand new apartment kitchen / bed in progress / amazing granola from a new favorite brunch place / heartland sky

Reading 
I just finished reading Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald which was a really interesting semi-historical piece! I fell in love with Great Gatsby in high school and this was an excellent piece about the lives of the Fitzgeralds, the prohibition era, and dysfunctional relationships.

Listening 
Everyone needs some upbeat music when they're moving and unpacking and working, and I found myself again and again flipping through to listen to this incredibly old album by Regina Specktor that I hadn't heard since college

3 Things

• I really like IKEA but I am also really glad that I won't have to go back to it for a long time (I hope). 
• I am not handy the way the love of my life is, when I had a fuse blow the other day I had to have Sweetheart walk me through how to fix it on the phone. Good to make him feel needed. (I did get it fixed though with direction!)
• I cooked the first meal in the new apartment today (red lentil dal with cilantro brown basmati rice) -- then I had a glass of wine with dinner to celebrate. All about the small things. 

Loving from Around the Internet 

I am completely loving this recipe I made for dinner tonight from Oh She Glows -- a super healthy and delicious meal you can make in a huge batch and have plenty leftover for later in the week! My new favorite recipes will all make extra so I can cook once and eat three or four times! 

Weekly Update May 22 - 28

The Week in Review 

Everything I own is currently sitting on a truck headed to my new home for the next seven years. Meanwhile, I'm sitting on a train streaking through the English countryside. The entire experience of coming to Europe is always a bit surreal for me, but never as surreal as being in the UK. Everyone here speaks the same language and walking down the street I can spot many of the same chains I'm accustomed to at home, but there are constant reminders that this is the world I'm used to only turned slightly sideways. My accent, foreign, my proclivity to always look the wrong direction first when checking which way to cross the road, stupid, and my requirement to always take a second longer to count unfamiliar change out to a cashier, silly.

London has changed a lot in the ten years since I was last here. No offense, Londoners, but the entire town is much more reminiscent of New York City than it was before. Although, my ability to get a decent cup of tea at any restaurant I walk into definitely means it edges out NYC in my list of favorite places. My idea of travel involves lots of wandering, I manage to do a lot of the touristy destinations when I go somewhere (Buckingham palace, Westminister, etc) but always try to do them at off hours and leave the rest of the day for simply wandering. I, however, will happily spend hours instead of any history or science museum in existence. Probably my favorite part of travel is spending time in the climate controlled halls of museums filled with pieces of a place I will never visit. Just my own strange fascination with museums -- probably makes me a less than exciting travel companion. To be honest though, I think anyone who thinks they couldn't spend three days inside the British Museum alone is a complete liar. We also made our way down to see a play at the Globe Theater -- a moment that satisfied the theater nerd still living inside of me.

The weather in London held out for us, allowing us to do lots of walking and wandering, easily hoping on and off the Underground. We scored some perfect afternoon tea and scones in a small cafe and managed to get a couple of excellent beers in dark, crowded pubs. I feel like we definitely had the London experience.

We picked up a train at King's Cross, snagging photos at Platform 9 3/4 before heading to Edinburgh. Edinburgh, being the original place where my mother's side of the family hails from, felt strangely familiar though I'd never been there before. It was raining and rather cold when we arrived, and hauling luggage to the hotel was quite an ordeal. I wouldn't recommend anyone come to Edinburgh who is not in good enough shape to carry their bag up hundreds of stairs. The next morning offered us more rain, which allowed us to see Edinburgh Castle in an entirely Scottish experience. Luckily, the next day, the sun managed to escape for a bit to demonstrate Scotland in all its glory. We sampled the local delicacy (scotch of course!) and made more time for tea and scones (what else). Only a few days there afforded us not enough time to really see everything we would have liked, but I think we could have found months worth of amusement in the city.

We've returned to London, though only for a few hours before we'll be back at Heathrow and headed back stateside. I'll be arriving there, only to leave in a matter of hours on a long, long, long road trip to my new residency home. Only one more of these weekly updates left before I'll be writing them from in the middle of residency.

Cheers from the UK my dears

The Week in Snapshots 

British museum / the globe / the queen?? (Jk) / platform 9 3/4 / proper tea and scones / sunny Edinburgh

Reading
I had a lovely read of Nick Hornby's About a Boy on the train to and from Edinburgh. I'm firmly of the opinion that Hornby's books should only be consumed on planes, trains, or in the backs of cars on long road trips. Anytime I come across a new one in a used bookshop, I pick it up and set it aside for just this reason.

Listening
I have to confess to you all that I haven't really listened to much music on this trip, walking around so much with my brother means I haven't been sitting around working and listening to anything. So no new recommendations for the week -- though I was able to hear some impressively loud music from the bar near our hotel last night -- who knew you could play traditionally Scottish music with a dub step beat.

3 Things
> I've decided that it's entirely unreasonable that I can't have cookies and tea every day at 3 o'clock. Once I start residency I'm going to file an official petition for mandatory resident tea time.
> Sweetheart and I are officially through the first week of the start of our year of long distance relationship. Luckily, we'll be seeing each other again in only three weeks. I miss him already. <3 I know so many people who do at least a year of long distance in medical relationships -- but just because it's the norm doesn't make it easier to miss someone!
> I am not in the least bit excited for the next week of unpacking, trying to go to the DMV,  doing residency paperwork, figuring out a new city, and being slightly jet lagged on top of all of it. If you have the means to mail me a cup of coffee -- please do so now!!!!

Loving from Around the Internet
Spotty wifi and limited cellular data means I've been quite behind on my internet reading as well. So I'll spare you all from reading something else this week.

Weekly Update May 15 - 21

The Week in Review

As part of this week, I had the opportunity to do a couple of poster presentations for research I had worked on as a third and fourth year medical student. I was able to see several of the surgeons that I had worked with over the last couple of years, all of whom very gleefully walked up and addressed me as "Doctor".

My father also happens to be a doctor -- a PhD doctor -- but still hearing the word Dr in front of my last name makes me turn around and look for him instead of assuming that someone is addressing me. How long in my life will it be before I'll stop looking for my dad when I hear that?

Strangely, this was also the last week I will spend at home for a very long time. I'm waiting in the airport right now to get on a plane to go to London with my brother (a trip we've been wanting to make for about 5 years or so...). But immediately on flying back from the UK, I'll be heading directly to ResidencyCity to start my life there. It was incredibly hard to say goodbye to all the people and places that I love in my Hometown.

The hardest part of it was saying goodbye to Sweetheart who will be staying behind to finish his last year in medical school. He'll be in ResidencyCity for part of the next year to visit, do an away rotation, etc -- but it's going to be very hard to be apart for a whole year.

In some ways, I think it won't be too much different than if we were living in the same place when I will be a surgery intern -- we may actually get to see each other more living in different cities than we would in the same city with me at work all the time. Haha. I'm glad to live in an era where Skype and airplanes exist and we'll be able to get through this year quickly.

The Week in Photos

I have photos for this week I just can't figure out how to get them into this post on mobile right now... Grr... I will continue to work on it.

EDIT: I got it

Bags packed / date night / brunch / everything I own in boxes / goodbye brunch with the girls / London packing
  Reading
In honor of us heading to London for the week, I quickly read Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island. For anyone who is a fan of books about travel, Bill Bryson's books are witty, quick, and make you feel like you've actually been along for the ride.

Listening
Bad Blood by Bastille has been my album of the week for it's lead singer's unique voice.

3 Things

• Having been a doctor for a whole week now, it still does not feel any more real than it did last week, I'm thinking somewhere around the middle of the week that first week of residency it might START to sink in. 

•  Had an interesting conversation with a surgeon I worked with as a third year about the importance of fear in making us good doctors. I'm mostly mentioning it here as a note to self to write more about this in some form at a later date. 

•  I should have some internet access while out of the country, so I'm hoping for Instagram pictures (@ladykay4477) and a weekly update next week, but forgive me if it's delayed a day or two until I'm back in the US.

Loving from Around the Internet

 I recently discovered that people have made playlists themed to each of the Harry Potter houses. I've listened to about a thousand of these while I was working on packing. Many of them really do capture the feeling of Hogwarts houses. It was excellent.

Weekly Update May 8 - 14

The Week in Review 

MD. None of it's real to me yet.

Have any of you had the experience of running on a treadmill very fast for a very long distance? When you step off, standing still seems strange, as though the world is still moving underneath your feet.

The last four years have been a very long treadmill run, moving my feet as fast as I can to keep from falling off. Suddenly, the constant stream of days has stopped and I'm taking a step forward on solid ground. It feels... strange.

The last four years would not have happened if not for a great many wonderful people in my life: my parents, my brother, my amazing fiance, my friends, the list goes on. Someone told me very early on in my medical career that it takes a village to make a doctor. It was certainly true for this doctor. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my village.

The next few weeks are going to move very quickly. By the time I write to you next week, I'll be about to leave the country to travel with my brother for a quick last hoorah before I actually use those two letters that are just hanging out behind my name now.

I just have one question: when does it start feeling real? Does it ever?

The Week in Photos

graduation / friend's cake / officially MD snaps / all the graduation pictures / amazing cheesecake / date night

Listening
In the process of moving you find a great many things, including the fact that I had scribbled the name of Gregory Alan Isakov on a piece of paper and shoved in into a desk drawer years ago. Rediscovering his name lead to quite the binge session over the last few days.

Reading 
Moving is an incredibly labor intensive process (can you believe you have to individually wrap all your fragile things? - aye). So I'm still reading Mount Misery. And by still reading, I think that means I've read all of 10 pages since last week.

3 Things

• Nothing will make you want to throw away everything you own and start over like trying to pack everything you own into boxes. 
• We're down to quite the skeleton crew in the kitchen, leading to a lot of simple trader joe's meals. 
• Did I mention someone made me a doctor on Friday? 

Loving from Around the Internet 

I've read this article before. It's been sent to me a dozen times by different friends or family members outside the medical profession, usually with the email subject line "is it really like this?". Well, I guess I'll be answering that question really soon. 

Weekly Update May 1 - 7

The Week in Review 

Blah, blah, blah -- packing. Blah, blah, blah -- errands. Blah, blah, blah -- never ending to do lists. I won't bore you by telling you about any of that. Instead I'll tell you about the incredible things. This is the last weekly update I will be writing as ALMOST MD. That's right, by the time I come to you next week I will be writing this as ACTUALLY MD. It's been an incredibly long four years, but it was over in the blink of an eye.

But getting to MD is only one of the most important things that happened to me in the last four years. In those four years, I also made some of the best friends a girl could ask for and found the most amazing man I ever could have dreamed of. I had some incredible proof of how amazing my girlfriends and Sweetheart are this week. After realizing that there was no way I was ever going to have a bridal shower right before our actual wedding (being a surgery intern and all), Sweetheart and my best friend planned a whole surprise, scavenger hunt bridal party for me. It involved all my favorite things from a whole tea themed brunch to a winery dinner and dozens of adventures in between. Still, a day later, I'm in shock that people would spend so much time and thought on me. I wish I could give them all a thousand hugs to repay them for such incredible generosity. It will never be enough. Love is the most powerful force in the entire world. I hope to keep spreading it around.

The Week in Photos

the galaxy in the bathtub / the edge of a perfect fried egg / wine on rustic tables / pedicure party / date night makeup / taco tuesday

Listening
All music from now until my trip to London is going to be from British bands -- thus the Vaccines

Reading 
My friend just informed me of the magic that is Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (an incredibly long HP fanfic). Then I stayed up reading it on my phone until it was much too late!

3 Things

• I'm running out of things I can pack and not have for the next two weeks. 
• I finally got my new bike to take with me to new residency city -- and riding a bike really does come back to you after a long time away from it. 
• As I write this, there are 4 days and 13 hours until I am actually a doctor. 

Loving from Around the Internet 

This amazing copper vitamix, I may or may not have put it on our wedding registry -- not that anyone will buy it for us because it is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. But I want it so bad... so pretty... so pretty....

We learned this week that no one should ever let me register for a wedding at Williams Sonoma because I want all the really expensive stuff... 

Weekly Update April 24 - 30th

The Week in Review

I spent most of the week avoiding studying for ACLS. But the good news is that I am officially ACLS certified. I am not convinced that I will ever be comfortable running a code by myself. I guess that's why residency is 5 years, right? I'm trying to get a thousand little projects done before I have to leave, everything from making decorations and save the dates for our wedding to to packing up boxes of stuff for the new apartment. Some of you have probably figured out that we're not getting married till May of NEXT year. So why am I doing all this work so early?? Two words: SURGICAL RESIDENCY. There is no way I will have time to cut wine bottles down to vases and individually make dozens and dozens of save the dates after June.

Sweetheart's had quite a cold for the last couple of days -- but being his normal self he's been completely unwilling to take time off or relax or sleep -- you know the things that will help you get over a cold. I love him, even for all his stubbornness. But send some well wishes that he'll feel better in spite of himself.

The Week in Snapshots

Working on Save the Dates / Cut wine bottles for some vases for our wedding table decorations / healthy oatmeal breakfasts to get through these long days / Cute boxes to propose to my bridesmaids!


Reading
This sequel to House of God has been sitting on my shelf for months. Now that I'm several pages into it, I can't believe I waited this long to pick it up!

Listening 
Hamilton. Just all the Hamilton all the time.

3 Things

• I know that all these little DIY touches to our wedding will turn out AMAZING but I'm definitely getting lost in all the little details of it. 
• Our dishwasher exploded, literally. We're hoping the new one gets delivered tomorrow. I'm tired of hand washing all our forks and coffee mugs. I'm realizing now how many mugs I use a day. 
• I certainly feel like I don't own that much stuff... but packing it up has been a proof of just HOW MUCH STUFF I OWN! 

Loving from Around the Internet 

I just picked up this amazing bath bomb from Lush and promptly used it the same day I bought it. I cannot recommend it enough. I felt like a freaking Midsummer Night's Dream fairy floating around in all the rose petals and pink. 

Weekly Update April 17 - 23

The Week in Review 

Welcome to a weekly update one day late. I hope to forgive my tardiness on this update but hopefully when you read this you'll understand the delay. I spent the whole first part of the week in the city I will be moving to for residency looking for an apartment. I have excellent news: I HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE NEXT YEAR! :)

After returning from that trip, I was home for all of 12 hours before we turned around and left on another trip, this time a road trip to see Sweetheart's sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. It was such a great trip, but after all that driving I am quite a bit exhausted and ready to not get in a car ever again.

After all that traveling I am glad that I think I should be able to be around home for the next three weeks before I will have to travel again. I'm all travelled out after the last six months!! I have one more big trip left and then NO MORE TRAVELING for all of residency (except maybe for our honeymoon... haha).

I love going places, I like being there, but the getting there part is exhausting.

This week is going to equally busy and full of appointments and craziness.

The Week in Photos 

Cute baby adores the baby blanket I made! / Studying for ACLS / Running in Places / AMAZING record store in new residency city / Zoo in residency city!

Reading 

This week I finished The Tiger's Wife, which was entirely unexpected and quite unique!

Listening 

We rediscovered Flogging Molly on this road trip and I am completely in love with this cute duet.

3 Things

• I am incredibly excited to eat at home all week. Most people love eating out, but I love nothing more than being able to make a meal in my own kitchen 
• I have to start looking at movers. I wish I could just get rid of everything I own and buy all new stuff. That would be easier. 
• I may become a bike commuter. I never thought I would be in a place where I could bike to work. 

Loving from Around the Internet 
I've been loving this great pinterest board for adorable boxes to ask your special ladies to be your bridesmaids!

Weekly Update April 10 - 16

The Week in Review 

Another week behind us and I'm not sure where it went. I'm deep down the rabbit hole of wedding planning at the moment. Even though we won't get married for over a year, I'm trying to get as much done now before I have to leave for residency -- it seems like we only come up with MORE decisions to make. I absolutely am suffering from decision fatigue already.

How do people do this wedding thing?? I can't imagine how all the pieces will come together.

I spent about 2 hours today watching samples of wedding videos online trying to decide IF we need a videographer... and IF so then how much does that cost... and who do we hire... and what do I tell them?

When I'm not exhausting my decision making powers with wedding things I stared at 800 apartments and houses and condos online trying to find a place to live. I'll let you in on a secret, they all look the same. All of them.


The Week in Photos 

Wedding DIY / Climb on / Completed baby blanket! / Tiny park / Bacon quiche for women in Surgery Potluck

Reading

I'm currently reading ALL THE TRAVEL GUIDES since I'll be headed to London in less than a month. Have we talked about this yet?

Listening

I've been listening to this song by Skinny Lister all week thinking about how great it woudl be if we could pay only forty pounds for our wedding. I'd be perfectly happy with the bunch of wildflowers for a bouquet and shawl for a veil that this song talks about.

P.S. We have every intention of playing this song at the wedding at SOME POINT

3 Things

• For those of you on #knittingwatch2016 I finally finished the baby blanket I was kitting!! It only took me a month and a half and by the end of it I was so sick of it that I probably won't do a knitting project again for a while. 
• Our dishwasher died yesterday. Woohoo. There's nothing to make you want to go out to eat as much as having to wash EVERY dish by hand. 
• I packed up all my scrubs in a box this week. It was strange realizing that I won't be wearing them again until I'm a doctor. 

Loving from Around the Internet 

This absolutely delicious looking recipe from Smitten Kitchen for sheet pan Chicken Tikka -- we haven't tried it yet and I'm out of town this coming week, but believe you me it's going to be on the meal plan for the following week! 

An Open Letter to the Second Year Medical Students I Spoke to Today

Dear second year medical students,

Two years of training down and the biggest adventure is still ahead. Are you scared? Excited? Just relieved to be done with step 1?

Probably all of the above.

I don't know why they picked me to be here today, sitting on this panel talking to you. But I have something I think I should tell you.

My mother loves cleaning.

Stay with me now,

My mother loves cleaning, it gives her some sort of release, sense of control. I labor through it because I enjoy having a clean house but the moments in the middle of actually scrubbing things -- I loathe.

My fiance loves fixing broken cabinets or replacing drain pipes. I don't gain the satisfaction from picking out just the right size drill bit -- it's something I struggle through because whatever it is that needs to be fixed is too expensive to replace.

My father loves gardening. I can't keep a plant alive for more than a week. I achieve no satisfaction from picking homegrown tomatoes (I love eating them, though) or turning soil. The meditative intensity my father can bring to this, I did not inherit.

So cleaning, fixing, and gardening are mind numbing affairs for me, but I love to watch people who are excited by little things, love to hear them talk about their ability to change the oil in their car or spend hours carefully carving wood.

Why am I telling you this?

Because today, I I got to hear a lot of other fourth year medical students who will be starting radically different residencies talk about what it was that made them pick their path.

Strangely, each of them often identified something about their chosen specialty they loved that had put it firmly on my NO list. A soon to be ER resident talked about how he loved the excitement that came from not seeing the same patient twice and never knowing what you would get when you walked into the room. The guy going into psych discussed how he could spend hours talking about someone's deeper motivations for each action. A newly accepted peds resident told us how she loved seeing healthy children at outpatient clinics.

ER fell off my list because I couldn't stand not knowing the final piece of a puzzle -- I was the kid who read books all the way through to the end even if I didn't like them because I had to know what happened.

Psych was a no because I didn't have the patience to listen and listen and listen and really hear those little underlying pieces that drove someone's motivation.

Pediatricians spent too much time in outpatient clinics for me -- so many doctors love seeing healthy people to refresh them in the middle of their days full of the sick -- I find it tedious.

I realized that each and every thing I love about surgery makes someone else crazy.

I love the meticulousness of suturing together friable bowel or carefully dissecting away a tumor from blood vessels. For other people, this immensely slow work must make them want to pull their hair out.

I love the whole picture work in surgery moving from diagnosis to treatment to follow up but focused on a single problem. For others this is neuroticism or micro-focus ignoring the whole picture.

I love that in the OR the whole world goes away and there's nothing else but hands inside bellies or chests and your mind goes click, click, click solving problems and remembering the next step. But I know that for so many, this detachment is sickening or the procedural aspect of surgery is boring.

There are things innate in each of us in medicine that will draw us one way or another. Our mechanical inclinations or our endurance, our quietness or our scientific curiosity will pull us to a specialty that fits us.

I'm sitting here in front of 100 of you and there are some of  you who are probably very sure they know what they want to be. Some of you are probably still very confused about it.

Whether you think you know or all the possibilities are scattering out before you in terrifyingly different life paths, I want you to know that one day it will be there. It will feel like it always was. You'll realize you are a internist or a radiologist or maybe a surgeon. Maybe that moment will happen quickly in the rush of a trauma bay resuscitation or slowly in the breath of holding someone's hand as they cry. But it will happen.

The pieces of this idea are still coming together for me. They're nebulous and as you can probably tell from this letter they slip away from me as I try to tack them down with words.

I suppose I could tell you all that it goes like this:

Along with my obsession of watching other people do the things they love and being completely confused by their pleasure, I devour books about the nature of excellence and success in fields vastly different from mine. I love books about the training of Navy Seals or the discipline of ultra-marathon runners. The biographies of physicists who covered their walls in equations or musicians who played until their fingers bled fascinate me.

What I've realized is that we can train skill. No one is born a great pianist or a marathon runner or a Navy Seal.

Skill can be trained. 

Temperament cannot. 

I loved a great deal of the rotations I went through third year, I learned a lot from each one and you will too. But I didn't think like a neurologist, I could learn the pathways and find the lesion, but my brain didn't bend the right way. I didn't have the excitement at variety possessed by family practice docs even though I could learn about sports injuries and diabetes management or the right way to council someone about smoking cessation.

This was much how I felt as a child in dance, I could learn the steps. I could memorize the position of my feet and hands. I could dance. I just never had the temperament to be a great dancer.

And so time and time again when doctors said to me "you think like a surgeon", I listened.

I will not walk into residency day one and be a good surgeon -- I won't walk in and even be an okay surgeon. It still takes me too long to suture, the details of an Ivor Lewis procedure escape me, the dose of most antibiotics is something I have to google. But I honestly believe that I've picked the right path.

So, second year medical students, do not be afraid.

Because you'll walk into an OR one day and you'll have no idea what's happening between the surgeon's hands, but something will feel right. Or you'll be sitting in a clinic or staring down at slides in a pathology room and the quiet voice in your head will whisper to you: "yeah, this feels pretty damn good".

Take the pieces of yourself that are strange, that stick out at awkward angles, and find a place where those pieces make you feel perfectly at home.

Clinical years are hard. Not all days will be good days. Not all doctors or residents will be nice to you or even care you're in the room. Not all specialties will be your piece of cake (or pie).

But you will find that thing you love -- even if it's a thing someone else hates doing.

I'm going to end this letter, so I can go cook dinner now, (something my fiance hates doing because he never sees the satisfaction in perfectly salting a sauce, or the glee that comes from gaining the perfect sear on a piece of chicken -- but something I love).

Do not be afraid to take those steps toward something you love, no matter how little skill you have at it at first. If you feel at home there, chase after it.

Second year medical students, I hope that you will wake up one morning two years from now and know that you could never have done anything else.

With love,
Katharine

Weekly Update April 3 - 9

The Week in Review 
I can hardly believe that we're at the end of another week.

Med school (and residency I'm starting to see) is one long to do list that you never get to the bottom of. I remember in high school or college when I would make a to do list and even if spanned a whole page, somehow I could manage to get everything done and still have time to kick back at the end of the day and relax.

I NEVER get there anymore. Instead I work furiously trying to get to the end of the list, give up with a few things still on it, and kick back anyway. (Priorities, right?). Sometimes no matter how much you do, there will never be enough hours in the day.

I know that often do more by lunch than lots of people will do in their entire day. I'll get up, answer emails, study, workout, clean, get ready, run an errand, get some residency paperwork done, etc. But somehow I look up and it's 11:00 at night and my notebook is still filled with unfinished items.

If anyone has a time turner, consider this my formal request for one.

The Week in Snapshots

Cute new slippers courtesy of Sweetheart / Matcha pistachio ice cream / Climb days / Chicken pot pie / Sweetheart finding creepy stuffed animals while thrifting / Run days / Thrifting for days

So apparently the links don't show up for some of you for my book and music recs each week! I've formatted them differently this time, I hope it works now! :)

Reading
Okay, so this isn't fair because it isn't technically out yet...

BUT HAVE YOU GUYS PREORDERED THE NEW HARRY POTTER???

In case the time turner reference earlier wasn't enough of a cue for y'all, I am now, always have been, and always will be a huge Harry Potter fan.

Listening
I've been listening to this album by the Mountain Goats a lot the last couple days. I will sometimes go weeks without listening to a Mountain Goats song and then will binge on them for days and days. If you've never indulged in the beauty that is the lyrics written by John Darnielle... well... get on it.

3 Things

• I am so incredibly close to finally finishing this blanket that I've been kitting for the last month and a half. I'm getting ridiculously anxious to have it done. 
• I went for the most ridiculous climb today, by the end of it I could hardly lift my arms up to reach the last couple holds. I then made the mistake of coming home to make risotto -- too much stirring. 
• The #NoSleepTillResidency watch continues. Mostly I just lay awake and think about how close I am to being a real resident. Eek! 

Loving from Around the Internet

Last week I talked about these hoodies recommended to me. Well, I took the liberty of ordering myself one, guys. AND OH MY GOODNESS. I have not taken it off since I got it. I'm often not one to buy into the hype of things.... but this is SO WORTH THE HYPE. If you have any doubts about spending a bunch of money on a hoodie-- leave those doubts behind. I am convinced that I could wear this thing every single day and never again have to worry about it falling apart. I'll probably be living in it come residency.

The Week in Review 

We celebrated Sweetheart's birthday a few days early because he'll be working nights on his actual birthday. I took the chance to make him a birthday pie. I really appreciate that neither he or I are traditional birthday cake people. My mom has been making chocolate mousse for my birthday since I was a kid. I hated cake.

I've since recovered from my loathing of cake. But I'll still pick pie or cookies or most other desserts over cake any day.

I feel like I've been working through long lists of things to get done. I've run shopping errands getting more work clothes, looking at apartments online, sending off my licensing paperwork. But no matter how much work I seem to get done I feel like I'm not doing enough every day.

Additionally, the preparation for residency has lead to me to develop severe insomnia. I completely fail to sleep at night these days. I just lie there and think about the fact that I'm supposed to start residency in two months!! It's awful. Then I stress out about not sleeping because of how sleep deprived I'll be in a few months.

On nights when I do sleep, I have extraordinarily strange dreams. Last night I had a dream I was hiding dogs from Batman, had a dream I was pregnant and trying to get my OB to explain how that could have happened, and had a dream people I knew were telling me what day they would die. I won't belabor this point because there's nothing as boring as other people's dreams -- but either I don't sleep or I just wake up really confused! 


The Week in Snapshots 

Muffins / Happy birthday / Birthday Pie / Wedding DIY

Reading

I'm still working on this book -- it's really excellent I just need time to finish it off!

Listening 

Guess who has a new EP -- my favorite!!

3 Things

• I love the birthdays of people I love -- but I hate my own birthday. I spend hours picking out gifts for other people. I love trying to come up with or make a perfect gift. But I hate when people make a fuss about my birthday -- I mean I didn't do anything! 
• I have to retake BLS this week so I can then go get my ACLS certification. Aye. All the pre-residency things to do. 
• I have finally finished half of my knitting project. It only took me a month to get this far, but I'm getting faster and faster. Hoping to have it done in two and a half more weeks. 

Loving from Around the Internet 

I had these hoodies recommended to me by a friend -- while they run a little on the pricey side I've been told they're worth EVERY penny. I just ordered one for myself -- review in the coming weeks. (P.S. Click through and I think it should give you $15 off!)

The Week in Review

Thursday was the last day I would ever go to class as a fourth year medical student! Don't worry, my duties as a medical student are far from over and include several teaching engagements in the next month to keep me busy. It's hard to believe that four years and suddenly it's all over.

I'm starting to realize how many things I have to do before residency. From finding an apartment in my new city to working on invitations for our wedding to going on a trip with my brother, I am going to have FAR from a restful two months before I am set to start residency.

I've got to fit some downtime in somewhere. I'm hoping to get lots of running in, get through all the books I own before I have no time to read next year, and maybe even do some "studying" about surgery issues so I don't completely forget everything I know. (We'll see about that last one).

The Week in Snapshots

Wedding crafting / Sweetheart rocking those pancake skills / Our last day of med school ever / Celebratory gelato / Awesome vegetable lasagna / Breakfast of champions

Reading

Listening 
My listening recommendation this week is not a song, but instead a podcast. If you all have never heard the hilarity that is Dear John and Hank, a podcast by the Green brothers, I highly recommend it. You can find it a million places, including on iTunes podcasts or here on Soundcloud.

3 Things

• I purchased a plane ticket for after graduation and realized I could put "Dr" in the box where I usually put "Ms". 
• I've officially knitted about 60 rows of this project I've been working on. I've also realized I have about 50 more hours of work on this project before it's done. 
• I recently read a study that showed that surgeons who play video games have fewer complications in laparoscopic surgery than those who don't -- considering using this as an excuse to play Sweetheart's XBOX. 

Loving from Around the Internet 
This really fancy coffee maker I want to buy for myself... except I don't have $200 to spend on a coffee maker right now.

The Week in Review

On Friday I opened an amazing envelope.

That envelope told me that not only was I going to be a doctor with a job next year -- I was going to get to be a doctor with a job at my #1 pick. I matched at my top choice for residency!!

The unfinished sentence I told you about on Friday has suddenly come to a period and now a thousand new sentences have started up. I have a million things to do. I have a new apartment to find, I have paperwork to do, I have a whole new life to start in only a few weeks. It's really hard to believe. I am really excited to be sharing this journey with you all as we go along.

The Week in Snapshots

I matched / chocolate bailey's cupcakes / I tried on my wedding dress!! / surgery studying

Reading 

Favorite Song

3 Things

• I'm trying for the first time to knit a blanket. I bought a TON of yarn on Amazon and have started the process. Send me good wishes. We'll see how this goes. I am by no means a champion knitter. 
• We cleaned our whole house in an hour this morning. It was such a nice thing to do on a Sunday morning (after pancakes of course!). Maybe we'll keep doing it?
• I already have a to-do list a mile long for this week, but I'm hoping to swing a recipe and maybe even a vlog somewhere in there. 

Loving from Around the Internet 
This adorable ModCloth dress!!! Why does it have to be $100 more than I have right now??

Match Day

Since Monday, my life feels like it's been on hold -- like an uncomfortable pause in the middle of a sentence.

Monday was the answer to the yes or no question: did I match? Did I get a job? Did I spend the last four years acquiring a non-transferable skill set only to have to figure out what to do with my life next year? Today is the answer to all those other questions they taught you back in third grade: where? how? what?

Today I open a tiny little envelope that will tell me where I will spend the next five to seven years of my life. It will be the place I will learn how to be a surgeon. It will be the place that I'll be living when we tie the knot, maybe it will even be the place I'll be living when we start our family. That place has a lot of work to do in the next few years.

My rank list was spread across the country from the east coast to the west coast to the midwest to the pacific northwest to the south to staying right here in the same town I went to medical school. Opening that envelope today could send me anywhere in the country.

Today I open a tiny envelope that finishes the a journey I've been on for the last four years.  Four years. Four years and no time at all. Someone once told me about residency that "the years are short but the days are long". That has been incredibly true of my med school experience thus far.

I am so thankful to have journals and blog entries and scraps of paper that have chronicled the journey between that first day and this one. Because it's hard to remember what it was like to be that first year medical student.

I pulled out one of those journals today and found something I'd written on August 22 2012

Plastic High Heels

Like almost every girl, I once owned a pair of those plastic dress up shoes with the bows and feathers spilling onto your toes. They never fit quite right as they like many childhood clothes went from too big to too small overnight. I remember the strange shuffle-clop step I used to make when walking in them, pretending my legs, so recently grown accomplished at flat-footed walking could manage the elegant clipped steps grown women take in their high heels.

I've managed that high-heeled walk now: the way your hips swing slightly wider and your feet follow a straight line. Now the heels are lined up in my closet black, red, and beige leather instead of green and pink plastic. 

I haven't played dress up in years, but today that feeling of pretend came back when I slipped my arms into the sleeves of my white coat. I'm not really a doctor, just pretending to be one. I'm not really a doctor, just here waiting for my plastic high-heels to turn into ones of leather and my shuffling gait to make the sharp clip of a practiced step. 

In four years time, I've done a lot. I've gone from clumsy first year to... well... to slightly less clumsy fourth year. Instead of getting every question wrong, I occasionally know the answers. I at least have some idea what to tell friends and family when they ask me for medical advice (although I still end every one of those conversations with "but you should talk to a real doctor" -- pretty soon I'm going to have to stop saying that last part).

Nothing about this feels real yet. Sitting here in my house drinking coffee in a nice dress and it's hard to think that in a few short hours I'll know.

Whatever the outcome of today, I will be a surgeon.

A surgeon.

Me.

Me the girl who used to bounce up and down on those plastic high heels on the tile in my parent's hall and laugh at the sound they made.

I can't say I wasn't warned the years would go fast.

There are a great many adventures ahead. Today won't make me feel any less like I'm playing dress up when I pull on that white coat. But it is one big step closer to the day it all feels real.

Today -- we finish the sentence.

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

~ Ulysses Alfred Lord Tennyson 

Green Chile and Bacon Quiche

GREEN CHILE, BACON AND GOAT CHEESE QUICHE

A Pi Day Dinner 

Once a year, we are gifted with an excellent excuse to eat our dinner, lunch, dessert, and any other meal we can think of out of a crust in celebration of Pi day (March 14th!). In that spirit, I decided to make this delicious quiche for dinner.

Quiche was once a loathsome dinner that my brother and I used to try and find ways to throw into the bushes or feed to the dogs under the table when my mother made it for us. We hatefully referred to it as "egg pie". This was no fault of the delicious quiche my mother made and instead the fault of my child's palate.

I refused to eat this amazing food for many years until I went to France as a teenager -- my love for quiche was reinvigorated. How had I lived without this dinner for so long?!

Tonight I strayed far away from the traditional spinach that I love so much and opted for this rich and spicy mixture of green chile and bacon. Quiche is a fantastic weeknight dinner, quick enough for a Monday when grabbing dinner out seems so easy and luxurious enough that you won't mind having to roll out the dough.

Ingredients 

Dough
     1 cup whole wheat flour
     1 stick butter
     Enough ice water to bring the dough together

Quiche
     4 pieces of bacon sliced
     1/2 c chopped green chile (spicy!)
     1/3 c crumbled goat cheese
     4 eggs
     1/3 c. half and half
     1 t. salt
     1 t pepper

How to Do It
1) Cut the butter into the flour and then add enough ice water to bring the dough together. It should stick together easily but not stick to your hands.
2) Roll the dough out large enough to fit into a 8 inch tart pan and place dough in pan cutting off extra
3) Fry bacon, at last minute add green chile to cook out all water
4) Whip 4 eggs, half and half, salt and pepper together
5) Mix in bacon and green chile
6) Pour egg mixture into tart shell
7) Sprinkle crumbled goat cheese on top
8) Bake quiche at 425 for 25 minutes until eggs are set and slightly golden brown on the outside.
9) Try not to eat all of it in one setting

Weekly Update March 13 (belatedly written on March 14)

The Week in Review
Last week I delayed on writing my weekly update post because I was sick and just wasn't feeling up to it. This week, however, I delayed writing until today because I wanted to have some real news to give you all.

Now I have that news.

I MATCHED!!! Today I found out that I had successfully matched. I will have a job next year. I don't know where that job will be quite yet (I'll find out on Friday), but I do know that after four years of acquiring this non-transferable skill set I will have a job as a surgeon next year.

It still feels surreal to me. Like there's no way that in a few short months I will go from being Lady Kay Almost MD to Lady Kay Actually MD. That people will actually have to call me doctor. It hasn't sunk in yet. I don't think it's going to sink in even on Friday morning when I open the envelope.

In other, less exciting news this week, Sweetheart has been quite sick the last couple days (today worse than previously). We think he may have picked up croup or walking pneumonia from working in clinic. Poor guy. :( The only upside was he was too sick to go into work today and got to be home when I opened the MATCH email. I keep trying to bully him into going in and getting seen at urgent care or student health (no luck so far, but I'm going to keep bullying). The key is to be more stubborn than your spouse to be.


The Week in Snapshots

Matched / Hiking adventures / Pi day quiche / Spring has sprung / More hiking adventures


Reading

I honestly haven't started a new book after finishing When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi-- I haven't been able to commit myself to anything after the world changing last few pages of that book. Give me a few days to recover.


Favorite Song of the Week

One of my good friends pointed out that this was the perfect song while waiting for Match results -- I haven't stopped listening to it since then.

To-Dos and Goals for the Week
- MATCH successfully -- check
- Figure out where I matched -- waiting till Friday

That's pretty much the only goals this whole week.

3 Things 
- I matched -- did I mention, I matched?!
- After growing up in the Southwest, I am firmly of the opinion that the consumption of huge amounts of spicy food is the cure for all URIs, so I made quite the spicy green chile bacon quiche for dinner tonight in hopes of making Sweetheart feel better.
- I bought a special bottle of wine when I was a first year medical student. I opened it tonight as celebration for getting a job for the next 5-7 years. It's as delicious as I thought. Four years of waiting tastes good.

Loving from Around the Internet 
These gorgeous (and fairly affordable) wedding dresses from BHLDN. Any other brides to be out there completely in love with these styles?